March is my birth month, and so is my son’s. Last month, we celebrated Carter’s 1st birthday. In Korea, it is called doljanchi or birthday (dol) banquet or feast (janchi).
Doljanchi is a huge milestone in any Korean family. Similar to Baek Il (or the child’s 100th-day celebration), mortality rates used to be very high among newborns, so surpassing this period means continuous survival for the baby and is worth celebrating for us.
Even if that’s not the case now, Carter was the first generation from the Cho family that was born in America. So my wife and I wanted him to grow up knowing our Korean traditions.
Typically, people in the village will come together to eat and celebrate with our celebrant fashions; a Hanbok or Korean traditional attire. In modern times, our village is our family and friends. We had a simple afternoon gathering that was held in a beautiful space overlooking the whole city. Yeobosayo!
Key Elements of Doljanchi
Dolsang Table or First Birthday Traditional Items
One of the things that we prepared as we celebrated a Korean baby’s 1st birthday is a Dolsang table. This table comprises of a variety of things with different meanings to send our offering, well wishes, or prayer for the celebrant.
- Round Table – This represents our wish for Carter to grow up without any hardship. It can be small or big, so we opted to place two small ones and use them as a stand for the cake and the round yarn ball with a tassel.
- Rolled Linens – For longevity.
- Ball of Yarn with Tassel – For a long and healthy life.
- Rice Cakes or Tteok stacked on Gold Plate – For a blessed personal life and harmonious one with others.
- Dates stacked high on a Gold Plate – This represents our wish for the child to continue the bloodline and have children (oh man, I might cry just thinking about being a grandfather!)
- Box of Threads – Symbolizes our prayer for him to have a happy married life in the future.
- 5 Colorful Silk Pouch – For a dynamic and spirited life.
- Five Coins with Tassel – For a wealthy and prosperous life.
- Anthology of Peace and Bow and Arrow – For a peaceful life filled with strength, and to ward off any evil.
- Needle Cushion – This represents our wish for Carter to develop many talents as he grows up.
It’s common for the items to be stacked at varying heights as it signifies a prosperous life. Asians didn’t have much before, so it is common for us to wish future generations to thrive and have flourishing lives.
Doljabi or First Birthday Tradition
Doljabi is a simple tradition where items symbolizing a job or industry are placed in front of the child. Whichever object they pick, it is believed to predict their future. They can do it twice so they can have a Plan A and Plan B. Kakaka~
Older traditions used to have fewer items and more general predictions such as…
- Pencil – Intelligence
- Thread – Long and Healthy Life
- Money – Business and Wealth
As traditions evolve and more opportunities are available among Asian kids, parents added more specific items the child can choose from…
- Mouse – Engineering or Tech Industry
- Stethoscope – Medical Industry
- Microphone – Entertainer or Musician
- Ball – Athlete
- Gavel – Lawyer or Judge
- Paint Brush – Artist
At the entrance of the venue, it is also common to have an area where guests can guess which one the child will pick in the doljabi. After the segment, the parents will pick one among the cards and if the guess is correct, then the guest will get a prize. It’s a fun game to have so the partygoers are involved in the process.
Carter might have been really thinking about it because he was intently looking at all the items. He first touched the money and second the microphone. It got me thinking, he might actually be a mini Chef Chris Cho making money and spreading the message, nah mean??
On a serious note, I came from a small town in Korea. My parents had to work almost 24/7 when we moved to America, and I even had to help out in the restaurant sometimes. However; now that I have my child and I get to have this life, it’s hard to balance that desire to give everything to my son and at the same time teach him the hustle. I can only hope that my wife and I get to model that to him consistently as he grows up. One thing is for sure though, whichever path he goes, we will 100% support him!
Dolbanji or First Birthday Gifts
Aside from the food, the dolsang, and the doljabi, it is also common to have a segment where guests give gold rings to the child as a gift. This usually represents a wish for a long life and good fortune. But practically speaking, with the appreciating value of gold, this is usually kept by the parents so it can be used for the child’s education or any emergency in the future.
This is not totally required and guests can also give gifts like toys, clothes, or money. We equally appreciate everything that was given to Carter because we know these come from the love of our family and friends.
Umma & Appa’s Message to our Little Carter
To Carter, you may read this one day but not remember anything. But I wanted to tell you that our family and friends came together to celebrate you and your life. It’s only been a year, but we have been through a lot and have been to so many places.
Your umma and appa will never forget how your face lights up in the sights that we’ve been to. Your umma and appa will never forget the joy you have whenever you try out something new. Your umma and appa will never forget the milestones you were able to reach – your crawl, your stance, your laugh, and your constant calling out to us whenever possible.
We really can’t believe it has been a year and you have come so far. It has been going by very quickly, but we are happy that you are a happy, healthy, and strong kid.
You are loved by everyone and we wish that you; study hard, find the person you want to be, travel, and do good things. Most of all, enjoy this life you were given. Happy birthday & we love you very much!
Though this celebration has a modern twist, I simply love what it represents. There’s always fear that things may go wrong, but this celebration is a reminder that we have come so far as a family. It reminds us that we should continue to be present for each other. Thank you for allowing my family and I to share our milestones and traditions with you. Ahnyoung!
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